Archive | July, 2008

Cosmetic Review: Sephora’s Atomic Volume Mascara

15 Jul

ATOMIC VOLUME MASCARA

By Sephora Brand

Price: $16 at Sephora.com and Sephora retail stores

Item Description:

What it is: mega-volume mascara.

What it does: Sephora Brand Atomic Volume Mascara blows all other mascaras away. An innovative tubular brush applicator with a lash-lengthening comb perfectly separates lashes for a full, sexy flutter. The advanced color formula conditions lashes, keeping them pretty, healthy, and capable of causing an explosion.

Things I like: Lasts ALL day; no smudging, smearing, running or flaking; very lengthening; thickening but not clumping; blackest of black color; one coat coverage; fabu-licious applicator!

Things I don’t like: Hmmmm, let me think. Ah, none.

Rankings:

Packaging Design: 5 out of 5

Portability/Convenience: 5 out of 5

Wearability: 5 out of 5

Shade/Color Variety: 5 out of 5

Value: 5 out of 5

Overall Ranking (on a scale from 1 – 10): 10

Likely To Buy It Again? Absolutely!

Why?

Let me start by saying I am a mascara fuss pot. I don’t try a lot of different mascaras, and I like even less. With the weather where I live changing from wet to dry in an instant, and temperatures fluctuating from freezer to oven within a month, my skin can definitely lose all control. My eyes are a true show of these rapid changes. With the wrong makeup, it’s easy to tell that the “hazy hot & humid” alert has gone off as you slowly see my eyes sliding down into an oil slick on my cheeks. Ugh.

Rewind to a few weeks ago when I made a stop to my local retail Sephora heaven and picked up a few things that I probably didn’t need. When I checked out, I had qualified for a deluxe sample and I had my choice of three things. Two of them I had already (you can see the pattern already, can’t you?) but the third was a new mascara from Sephora called Atomic Volume. I knew nothing about it—didn’t know the shade or the formula—but I’m always willing to try new glamour. Like I do with all of my new buys and latest samples, I tried it out as soon as I got home.

The first thing I notice when I applied the mascara was how long it made my lashes. Not just fluttery long… killer-looking, curly long!! This is a big selling point for me as my lashes are very straight and short. Next I realized how awesome the unique applicator was. It’s tubular with lots of little combs. It doesn’t have one of those poofy mushy brushes. It’s precise. It gets even the smallest of lashes in the corners and crannies. This applicator made each lash thick, but not clumpy or sticky at all. Ok, so I must love it 100%, right? I mean it did pass every test, didn’t it? Not yet. Now comes the test of time…. And this will decide if it is a mascara that can run with the big boys.

I took the mascara off at bedtime that night with my usual waterproof eye makeup remover. It took two cotton balls to get all the mascara off, but that’s why a mascara is good…stay-power. The next morning I curled my skimpy lashes, applied my new Atomic sample of mascara, and left the house to go about my daily routine of this and that. Other than touching up my lip gloss here and there during the day, I barely check my makeup. I don’t have time to be a mirror monger. So at the end of my hectic craziness, I headed home to put on my super lounge clothes and take my face off. When I peeked in the mirror to see how my mascara held up, I was more than pleasantly surprised: I was flat out amazingly shocked! My lashes… my ubersexy lashes… looked as perfecto as they did when I put the mascara on first thing that morning. Not one flake of black. Not one smudge of creamy soot. Long, luscious lashes after ten strenuous hours, and they were still going strong!

That’s it. I was in love. And it was with a black, teardrop shaped tube.

Until they either stop making it or I need falsies (lashes that is), I have found my one and only mascara. Sephora’s Atomic Volume is the answer to my lash prayers. It is my new number one fave glamour item, and I have already started spreading the word. This is one item that you just cannot miss with all year ‘round!

“Ex”treme Stupidity?

8 Jul

I’ve you ever noticed that after you break up with your mate, they seem to become dumb overnight? Or maybe you find it to be a process… that they have their head on somewhat straight early on, but as time goes by, their intelligence dims to the wattage of a Christmas tree bulb.

I realized this recently with my ex-husband. I have to interact with him on a human level about twice a month when my teenage children go to his house for their “weekend father” visit. If it was possible, I wouldn’t even stop the car and look at him when I go to drop off the kids. And if they were more athletic, I would teach them how to leap from a slow moving vehicle so I wouldn’t even have to down-shift the car from second gear. But somewhere in my custody papers I think it reads I actually have to put the car in park. No where does it say, however, that I have to turn off the ignition. Thank God.

I know I am going to have to converse with my ex as an adult, or as close as he can get, when I get to the drop off location and he gets out of his car and motions for me to roll down my window. When he does this I can feel my stomach roll and I immediately start reaching for the elixir of Pepto and Tylenol. He’s wants to speak. To me. Out loud. Oh lord, give me strength. Ever since my ex and I divorced, he loves to “chat” with me about his latest ideas, inventions, outings, and dreams. The first few years he did this, a good portion of them seemed decent. Buying a house, savings bonds, things like that. They weren’t always pursued in a way that I would I do them, but still it showed he was putting thought into something. Then somewhere along the way, the “EX”treme Stupidity factor set in. Now every couple of months or so he feels the need to share with me the details about his latest undertakings. Stupid stupid stupid undertakings. These could be anything such as a picture-taking endeavor in a woods full of ticks and mosquitoes to click some slides of deer and butterflies (even though he has thousands of these, and takes new ones every weekend), the patent his father and him want to get for a magnet-operated car, the newest get-rich-quick scheme that he’s been “personally selected” to participate in, or his development of medical knowledge when his last date informed him of the clinical definition of a hermaphrodite. I’ll leave that last statement alone for now, as it really deserves a post all by itself.

In my ex-husband’s defense, I will say that he is not very informed. But that’s by choice. He does not have cable TV. Actually he gets no TV whatsoever as he lives in the woods in the middle of nowhere (hence the bug and animal photos). He has a computer with dial-up internet access but never logs on to read the latest headlines because that costs money. FYI, my ex likes to conserve money whenever possible and is always looking for a way to get more of it. He says he’s thrifty. I say he’s flat out cheap. So where does he get the majority of his worldly information? Are you ready for this?… the mail. The junk mail. And that’s enough of a foundation for a disaster in itself.

Because it is delivered by the U.S. Postal Service, my ex feels that everything that enters the black box with a red flag is legit and good. Everything. This included the stuffing envelopes for thousands of dollars invitation, the newest vitamin for weight-loss newsletter, the “How To Rid Yourself Of Cancer-Causing Chemicals” magazine offer, how he’s been chosen to get his latest bird picture published in a feature book for a “small” processing fee, and the selling of legal services to needy individuals (but only if he buys the service for himself first) job offer. The list is long, pathetic, and very detailed. But you get my drift.

You would think that the longer your ex is out on his own, the more street savvy he would become. I mean, why wouldn’t he? You did! Honestly, after the break-up, someone actually handed you a bag of clues, and you reached in an got one! But the longer you two are apart, the more obscure the statements that leave their mouth become. Now for me personally, I can take extreme enjoyment in being able to tell my ex that his latest venture is about as promising as a loaf of bread rising without yeast. Or water. Or in my ex’s case, even flour. But that might be because I can be a sassy sadistic shit at times. Can it be true that the father of my children has an I.Q. that is declining more quickly than the water level in my humidifier? Or is it because I only notice his wrongs instead of his rights now that we are apart? Maybe I just want to believe – and gloat – that our divorce made me a smarter, stronger, more cautious, more alert individual than him. Could that be true? Hmmmmm. I’m not sure. I’ll have to see about that one.

I’ll let you know what I think right after he sends his large Money Gram to a public relations firm in Guam in order to make a few extra hundred dollars after being selected to the prestigious position of “Mystery Shopper of the Month.”

So, you want to feel a little “sassy” today?

6 Jul

‘Then get spruced up

and laugh and dance

And turn away from worry

with sassy glance.‘

~ Weekend Glory by Maya Angelou

Welcome to my blog! Man, I hate that line. It’s so routine, so overused, so blasé. But honestly, what the heck are you supposed to say at the beginning? “Hi! I have PMS and am craving salt & chocolate at the same time! My nail polish is chipping, I have three loads of laundry to do, and I just got my bank statement in the mail!” Come on. That kind of fun doesn’t start for at least another week or so. At least not till the PMS really gets here

.So I guess the main reason why I’m doing this blog is because 1) I can make people laugh by telling them about my life and 2) I’m a glamour junkie. Now, you are asking yourself, “How do those go together?” They don’t. Not at all. Only when I put on a new sparkle eye shadow wrong and my eyes look like two disco balls, do the two intersect. But that doesn’t happen…well, not that often.

You’re going to find two things on this blog. The first is an occasional story or journal entry about something crazy that has happened recently in my life. What makes that so funny is it probably has happened to you, and you will find comfort and humor in knowing you are not alone. The second thing I’m going to do is discuss glamour-type girlie stuff. This will range in reviewing some of my favorite cosmetic items, tricks of the trade, new goodies and finds, and whatever else girls talk about over coffee at Starbucks.

I don’t have a regular 9 – 5 job. I can thank various health issues for that. Then again, my bickering teenage children, my endless doctor appointments, my cats’ constant hairballs, and my mother’s mission to discuss bowel habits 24/7 makes it almost impossible to have a normal day anyways. No wonder I medicate.

So I hope you enjoy this. Feel free to email me if you want to throw your two cents in about anything regarding cosmetics, fashion, or men. Don’t bother to try and throw your two cents about my mother though. You’ll need those two cents to put towards your therapy. My mother will do that to you.

Like what you see? Have some comments you’d like to share? Want to tell me you think I’m awesome or I’m as whacked as a feline on catnip? Feel free to email me. You can reach me by email at: SassyAuburn@nycap.rr.com

Ready to have some fun? Grab a cocktail and enjoy!