When it comes to humor, I think the one-liner joke is severely underappreciated. They are timeless and tacky but always remembered. “Men are like parking spaces—all the good ones are taken.” “If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is it naked or homeless?” “What is invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.” Priceless! Simply priceless! “Take my husband….please!” Okay, you get the idea.
Sometimes I feel like I am the Henny Youngman of beauty tips. I have many that are short, sweet and right to the point. It probably is the only time I have the ability to give suggestions and opinions in less than 10 seconds too. Of course, after I throw in my two cents under fifty words, I can only hope someone will respond with a “Why?” so I can then talk for 10 minutes giving a detailed explanation that would put most men into REM sleep.
Today you will find the first of my “Top 10 Beauty Tips” that I have personally found to be priceless to my beauty routine. They aren’t just given lip service here… they all have been or are being used by myself at some time or right now. Plus you will see that whenever possible, I will try to avoid suggesting a specific name-brand product too. I’m not here to promote the sales of any specific item. Well, unless I am paid to put in some shameless product placement plug to generate me some coin. Then a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. But primarily, my duty is to just bring you great ideas because I get great joy to reach out and touch someone. (Cha-ching!)
- Apply your body lotion, cream or butter when you get out of the shower while your skin is still damp. Don’t dry off completely! The oils in the body lotions will help seal in the waters and keep your skin hydrated AND moisturized!
- Enjoy those long hot showers in the morning? Remember to splash your face at the sink with cool water after you get out and before you begin putting on your makeup. You want to make sure you close your pores so the makeup doesn’t “sink” into them.
- Witch hazel is a fabulous toner for normal /combo skin. Diluted (with distilled water) apple cider vinegar is a perfect toner for oily skin.
- Whenever possible, put your under eye concealer on with a specially designed brush. The bristles help fill in any lines and creases and the long handle of the brush helps to prevent any heavy-handed tugging around the eye area.
- Sweet almond oil should be a staple on your bathroom counter! It’s great for moisturizing your lips, face, cuticles and hands. It also has scar reducing properties for face imperfections and doesn’t clog pores for those that are acne prone.
- Got yourself a great eye cream? Make sure you use a little of it each night before bed around the edges of your lips. The fine lines around your eyes are very similar to the ones around your mouth.
- Moisturize and exfoliate your lips at the same time. Mix 1 teaspoon olive oil with 1 teaspoon white granulated sugar. Place mixture in a small sample or cosmetic jar and into lips for a minute each night. Gently wipe off any excess sugar with a soft towel.
- Don’t throw out an old banana! Once the skin on the fruit has turned dark brown, mash it up in a bowl till it’s almost creamy like pancake batter. Spread it all over your cleaned face at bedtime and let it set for 10 minutes then rinse with warm water. Bananas are one of nature’s best anti-aging foods!
- Feet tired? Take a bag of dollar-store marbles and put them in the freezer. Fill a basin with cool water. Add your favorite foot soak (or just drop in two Alka-Seltzers and a slice of lemon or a sprig of fresh mint) and put the frozen marbles into the basin. Sit back and roll your feet on the marbles for about 15 minutes. Ahhhhh.
- Your pillowcase is not your washcloth. Always always always take ALL of your makeup off before bedtime. Someone once told me that if you sleep with your makeup on, it will prematurely age your skin by ten days. I have no idea if that is true, but even if it was only by ten seconds, that’s ten seconds too much for me!
The list isn’t seasonal, but the tips are “must knows” and will be the basis for other lists to come. Like any good house, it all starts with a good foundation. Now that I think about it, so is a good glamour look!
Sassy Auburn's Diary Of A Glamour Junkie... 
Yea for #9-My dogs are always beat and tired. Time to wake those puppies up!
Sassy, you are The Goddess!
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Oooooh, I just love the banana thing! Can’t wait to see my hubby’s face when I try that one!
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#6 is a waste of a good Banana bread ingredient.
SHAME ON YOU!
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Very very right about the banana bread! Maybe I’ll just make the bread and whatever batter is left in the bowl–I’ll put that on my face. Then I can get the benefits of the walnuts exfoliating my skin too! But if my family makes tea and looks at me like they want to lick my face, we may have issues…..
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