Today was another standard day at my “regular” job. Appointments went smooth, customers were great, conversations were fun. My day ended early, however, because I had an appointment to get some routine maintenance done on my car. On my way to my parking spot, it’s standard procedure for me to cross a very busy road. The closer to rush hour, the busier it is. Today I left before the car chaos began but it was still pretty busy. Before I even got to the curb to cross the road to my car, a large flatbed truck with three guys in it approached my sidewalk position. As I stopped for the fast-moving traffic, the truck occupants proceeded to honk, wave and stare. I’d be shocked if it was the first time this happened, but it wasn’t. Not to blow my own horn (pardon the pun), but it happens about 2-3 times a week. Some women would be shocked or even offended, but at this point, it doesn’t phase me anymore. Some men will just be men. I will take it as a compliment.
Now don’t think I’m a conceited princess who thinks the world stops when I enter a room or walk out a door. In fact, I’m just the opposite. I was the ultimate dork in high school (which was a quite a while ago). Even now, I hate my teeth, I have no boobs, I’m too thin, and I’m trying to get through a major hair mishap that happened six months ago. Sure, my husband tells me I’m beautiful, but I think it’s unwritten marriage law he needs to a few times a month. (He means it though, I know.) Women often express displeasure with my size. The fact that I can eat the entire drive-thru menu at McDonalds for lunch and never gain a pound does not make me many friends. The phrase, “I hate you for that!” has been said on more than one occasion. Seriously, do I have to show you photos of my healthy 6’3″ father who only weighed 160 lbs? Come on people… Please. It’s genetics and metabolism–don’t hate the gene pool.
In my opinion, I’m not beautiful, not gorgeous and barely average. So, why do I get honks, waves and smiles? Well an easy answer could be that I work in a town where there aren’t many “average” girls, but that’s not true. I think it goes beyond that. In fact, it goes into an area where we all could take a lesson or two. And guess what? I’m going to give it to you.
Being “attractive” goes beyond skin deep. Granted, taking care of yourself to keep your skin in great condition and using products to slow the hands of time doesn’t hurt. Wearing the things that fit right and make you look pretty is a plus too. Taking care of your mind, body and soul is youthful–inside and out. But a lot of what turns heads isn’t on the surface. It’s other things. Three simple things, actually:
Smile. A nice smile doesn’t just light up your face, it lights up your soul. It illuminates you. You shine. I don’t care if your teeth need a bleaching or your lips are chapped. A smile shows the world you are happy where you are and life is good. Who wouldn’t appreciate that? You’ve dealt with everything life has dealt you and you’ve still survived with a smile. That’s appealing (and intriguing) to many!
Walk tall. Walk with a spring in your step. Walk like you have someplace important to be. Walk like YOU are important. This stirs curiosity. Who is this girl? What is she doing? Where is she going? People will think “I want to do what she’s doing!” or “Holy composed, Batman, who is THAT?!” There doesn’t have to be a reason for you to bleed confidence–you just have to hold yourself, walk, talk, and stand like you own the world in the palm of your hand. Practice. Put on a pair of heels and stand in front of a mirror. Stand straight. Shoulders back. Smile. Tilt your head. Don’t pose like a hussy but stand like you are royalty. A little confidence goes a long way.
Start the day & finish the day with class. It doesn’t matter if you work 9-5, spend the day running errands or are labeled as the mom taxi. You have no reason to look “frumpy”. Ever. EVER! Even if you stay home all day doing dishes and vacuuming, you better put on some lipstick and mascara to get the mail. Yes, the MAIL! There is no excuse for you not to put on something to make you feel good about yourself: makeup, perfume, your favorite top, tight jeans, jazzy shoes. Anything. Just pamper yourself. You deserve it! Whether it be for three minutes or three hours, treat yourself nice. No matter how boring or routine your day is, lift yourself up. It will lighten your spirits and others will notice. Now, also remember this–how you start the day is how you should end it. Keep your hair neat, makeup fresh, lips tinted, standing strong, being happy. From start to finish–even if you have to paint on a smile–finish the day strong. No matter how tired or drained you are, let no one see it. To them…AND you?
You. Are. Invincible.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Doing these things doesn’t guarantee you a horn honk crossing through the parking lot at your local CVS. But you will at least get you a look from both men and women. Men are attracted and curious about your confidence, your tenacity, your spirit. Women will look too, of course. They will look you over–head to toe (oh, you know that’s how they are). They may be curious about your assurance, your poise and your certainty, but like a typical female, they will also check out your shoes and bag! The fact is, you walked into a room like you owned it. Even though you might be falling apart on the inside, you are totally together on the out. This confidence will not just lift you up to a whole new level, but you’ll be surprised… you might even get a honk or two. Or ten!