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Valentine’s Day Treats…Man Style!

10 Feb



This Sunday, the holiday for lovers will be upon us. Malls are flooded with the usual red, white and pink items and ensembles including the sticky and sweet, the soft and cuddly, the fragrant and flowery, and the shiny and sparkly. Even if you can’t read a calendar, you’d really have to be a hermit crab—with shell in tow—to not know what day is right around the corner. Even with all the hints around, I have to sadly say, I’ve seen a few cracked hermit crab shells around February 15th in years gone by. And the shell looked like it had a nicely placed stiletto heel imprint too. Go figure.


Even though many men think this holiday is a retail-concocted façade to make them shell out ridiculous amounts of cash to materialistically show their affection, some women feel that it is a last-chance holiday for men to have a second chance after blowing it completely on Christmas. Yes, it is true, if you still have a place in bed after getting her the new and improved rug steamer this past holiday season, here’s your chance fellas to make up for lost ground. And maybe even lost time… if you get my drift.


But even though it is, without a doubt, a holiday where the focus seems to be on the women, I think many men would agree that the statement, “What about me?” can come into play. Sure, they want to feel loved and special too. They want to know their lady cares. They want to know that they are loved. They want to know they are their girl’s #1 squeeze. They just don’t want to know it with a three-foot teddy bear tied with a bunch of Mylar balloons and a wrapped pair of conversation candy hearts boxers. Okay, some may like that, and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. I, in fact, think those boxers are damn cute myself. But I can’t picture Mr. Sassy acting genuinely excited if I was to have that delivered to his work as a gift.


So what else can you get the guy who isn’t a sicky-sweet gushy romantic on the day that revolves around hearts and goo? Well, I dove way back into my mind to remember what were some of the things I had gotten for Mr. Sassy over the years. Plus I had a little help from a friend or two with ideas of their own. Hopefully this will give you ladies a few leads before you tackle the mall:


• Meats & Cheeses – Even though men love cheddar-topped hamburgers and strip steaks with gorgonzola butter, things like that can get a little messy in a gift box. Why not take a trip to your local market or specialty store and make up a tasty gift with various specialty protein-type items. Don’t forget things like different crackers and spreads too. Some of my favorite go-to treats include: Gruyere, Manchego, Smoked Gouda and Drunken Goat Cheese; Sopressata, Prosciutto, and even flavored beef jerky. For an extra special treat, throw in a nice wine that goes with the cheeses you’ve selected (do some online research) and make it a treat for you both!


• Cigars – Not every guy likes to smoke, and even fewer wives and girlfriends like to see them smoke. Guys think there is something rich and soothing about a good cigar. Plus, it screams guy-time in the man-cave. Even I have to admit, I like a good rich smoke now and then (and yes I have the pictures to prove it!) If cigars are something you despise but he likes, then go out and spend a chunk of change and get him just one or two really good cigars. That way he won’t smoke them all the time around you and he’ll really take in the cigar’s flavor and appreciate the ones you got him. A few good choices that most guys would like are: Ashton VSG’s, Romeo y Julieta, or a Camacho Triple Maduro. For an extra bonus, get him a good scotch to go with it!


• A dozen of beers – Yes, leave the roses for the females and get the guy twelve long-necked bottles of different and eclectic beers. It is hard to “mix and match” when it comes to flavors, but if you ladies have a couple of friends who like the idea, go in on it together. You and two girls can pick out six different 6-packs and each pull two of each pack to make a dozen. For different flavors from around the world, go to a local beer distributor for the best selection. Some ideas to look for are Belgian beers, sweet stouts, amber ales or Pilsners. Throw in a nice glass beer mug to make it a gift he’ll never forget.


• Magazine subscriptions – This is a gift that really shows you care about him AND pay attention to his interests and hobbies. Plus he’ll be entertained all year ‘round. Is he a sports fanatic? …SI or ESPN the Magazine is a no-brainer. History buffs really enjoy National Geographic or Time. And don’t forget some other male favorites he might enjoy. Bon Appetit, Food and Wine, Cigar Aficionado, Esquire, Men’s Fitness, The New Yorker, and Maxim are all very popular choices. Take a trip to your local bookstore, go through the magazine department, and pull one of each magazine you think he’d like. Wrap them up with the filled out subscription card taped to the front of each, having them billed to you. He’ll love the sentiment.


If all of this has you even more confused about what to get your guy this Valentine’s Day, don’t forget… you can never go wrong with “a little bit of everything.” Go all out and give him a smorgasbord of goodies. Hell, no man will deny that variety is the spice of life. (In fact, that longing for variety gets them in too much trouble at times.. cough cough.) Grab a gift bag, basket or even a chip bowl works great too… especially one that has his favorite football or baseball team on it. Then start filling it up. For example, grab a brick of Merlot-flavored parmesan cheese and a stick of pepperoni, some whole-grain wheat crackers, a nice spicy honey mustard, a six pack of good ale, a couple of decent cigars, a nice travel coffee mug, a personalized beer mug, a subscription to Rolling Stone magazine, some gourmet caramel popcorn, and a few king-sized portions of his favorite candies or chocolate bars. Put them all in a nice wicker basket, then tie it all up with a big red bow. He’ll love it!


…. and if you really want to go the extra romantic mile? Throw in a pair of love-struck Marvin the Martian red and black boxers for good measure. Now that’s hot!

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Men: What Not To Shop For Right Before Christmas…

20 Dec

The time to shop is running out this holiday season, and if you are the typical male, you probably either have just begun to think about venturing out into the malls OR you think you still have at least 5 days left. Be advised that as the time ticks away, your options are getting smaller and smaller. Which means you will enter the frenzied shopping world with limited options or worse… without a clue.  So what are possible choices for gifts to give your special lady this Christmas season?  Well, although I do not know what she likes, I can probably tell you what she doesn’t. Based on years of experience, I will share these ideas with you and the reasoning behind them so you can know what she is thinking (which puts you ahead of the curve already). Get ready… take notes:

    Do not buy her lingerie. You are thinking, “Why wouldn’t she like something sexy? Something pretty? Something that says I find her hot and attractive?”  Because that might be what you are thinking when you head out to buy it but that is not what it says when it gets unwrapped on Christmas day. First off, be honest—isn’t the person that swanky outfit is really for is YOU?  Yeah, it is.. and your little lady KNOWS that is what you are thinking! She also knows that because you picked YOUR favorite color, not hers.  It is also a fact that you go in to those stores without a CLUE as to what size we are.  So who do you envision in your mind when picking out the outfit?  Yup… the salesgirl. So if you buy a nightie that you think will look good and fit Stacie the Sexy Saleschick, I’d bet money it might not be the best choice for your lady.  It’s a no-win situation. If you really want her to get something alluring, show her a store catalog, ask her what she likes and what size she’d wear… and remember!!!!
    Do not buy her perfume. Unless she has taped a sample vial or an advertisement from a magazine to your car’s dashboard or the bathroom mirror with a note that says “This One”, don’t bother. What you like most likely won’t be what she likes. Not to mention, what it smells like in the bottle probably won’t come close to smelling the same way when your princess puts it on her.  And even more so?  Just because the Susan the Sexy Saleschick smells good in a specific perfume doesn’t mean your girl will smell good in it or even like it all all. If you really want your Mrs. Claus to smell yummy, get her a gift card and go with her when she uses it. Or better yet, pick her up a current fashion magazine, lift up each of the sample flaps, and ask her what is her favorite is. And let her know if you like it too!
    Do not buy her appliances. Even if she makes a list of things she NEEDS for Christmas, only get her things she WANTS. No woman WANTS appliances. The only exception to this rule is if your girlfriend or wife has a hobby that involves the kitchen in some way. For example, a woman would find it romantic if you took the time to find her special spatulas or baking stones if she enjoys making cakes or candies during her down time. That is a good thing. A woman would NOT find it romantic if you get her a turbo-nuclear microwave so she can heat up your leftovers faster in the evening. And giving her things with a blade or a sharp edge only provides her a weapon to use on you if you mess up on any other gifts. If you really want to get your significant other something she might like using in the kitchen, ask her what things every person with her hobby or interest has that she doesn’t.
    Do not buy her anything relating to her car. This includes gift certificates for car washes, oil changes, gas fill ups, a snow scraper, new wiper blades, floor mats, or seat covers. Even though she will insist to you that she is a modern day woman and can handle anything and everything in regards to the car herself (which she can, don’t patronize her!), deep down she still wants you to do it.  If you really want to give her anything in regards to her vehicle, a nice, feminine engraved keychain with a special sentiment is always a gift from the heart that will be cherished all year.
    Do not give her cash. Dude, that’s just tacky. And shows laziness beyond belief. But you are probably saying “But what is the difference between cash and a gift card??”  There is a BIG difference whacknut! Cash means you don’t care. A gift card means you went into the store, looked around, knew there were things in there that she would like and YOU liked and wanted her to be able to pick out exactly what will make her happy. It also means you are looking forward to the day that you will take her to a nice lunch and to the mall so you can smile as she tries on clothes and shoes for hours with you. And you pretend, with your best lying face possible, that you are enjoying every minute of it more than you enjoy life itself….GOT IT?

So what are safe bets this late in the shopping season?  Well, I’m not expert, but here are some no fail gifts that any woman would most likely be happy with. Remember we all aren’t the same, but we are pretty close:

    – Jewelry (necklaces and bracelets especially)
    – Reservations for a weekend getaway (bed and breakfast, romantic suite)
    – Maid service for a month/year
    – Tickets to a show SHE would like to see
    – All the fixings for a “date night” (dinner gift certificate, movie tickets and a gift card to buy a special outfit)
    – A large, framed print of a photo that means a lot to her (a place you went this year, a special event)
    – And when all else fails, gift cards to places such as:

    * Macy’s * …………. * Sephora * …………………… * Victoria’s Secret *
    * Pottery Barn * ….. * Williams & Sonoma *……….* JC Penney’s *
    * TJ Maxx * ……….. * Marshall’s * ……………………* Yankee Candle *

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Mom’s First Day Of School…

7 Sep

During this summer, I discovered that blogging is a lot like exercising. At first, it’s awesome. You have a lot of determination. You are totally into it. You set a schedule and stick to it. You work hard, you see changes in yourself, and you thrive off the positive feedback. Then, you miss a day. Then two. Then three. Then a week. You begin to lose your motivation. You find it becomes more of a chore than an escape. You evolve into the game of “creative avoidance” finding every excuse in the world not to do it. Eventually, the inevitable happens: you mumble those final words of defeat—“Ah, screw it.” That is exactly what happened with my blog over the past three months.

Of course, like any good determined exerciser can relate to, I had very good reasons for my abstinence. There were some health issues that went on. The kids took up a lot of my time. I had appointments that I could not reschedule. The cat got sick. The weather was bad. The weather was good. You know, the usual things. But it wasn’t like I didn’t think about getting back into the glamour and fashion side of life. It just got a little more challenging when my only fashion decisions for the day consisted of choosing between a t-shirt and tank top, and the glamour challenge was deciding on whether it was humid enough for waterproof eyeliner. Not a lot to focus on there, if you get my drift.

Now, for the past seven days, I have spent the majority of my time getting my two teenage children ready to go back to high school next week. This, I will admit, has put me right back in the role of soccer-mom fashionista. With the seasons changing, the yellow buses running and juice box consumption tripling, I’m getting the fad fever once again. This is good. This is very, very good in regards to my blog! It is not so good, however, for
my summer-subdued shopping habits. With the discovery of new styles, colors, fashions, and makeup items, I find myself falling right back into my old Sassy ways!

So what have I found while shopping with my two munchkins (son, age 16 going on 4—daughter, age 14 going on 22) so far this preseason? LOTS! Let’s start with the first day of school, for example. We are spending all this time making sure our kids will start the school year off with a bang in the right clothes and accessories. Why can’t we do the same for ourselves??? For us SAH-moms, there are lots of ways to be comfortable while still looking jazzy and together while driving the kids to campus in the MILFmobile. Just because it is 7 am in the morning and the coffee hasn’t entered the blood stream doesn’t mean you have to look like the leading character from “Morning of the Living Dead—The Preschool Days” while going through the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru. There are ways to appear several notches above “barely conscious” without spending too much time on getting foof’ed up. Here’s how I am going to approach the beginning of the school year:
.python trench

1. Get a super-comfy yet super-stylish jacket. Better yet, get two. The joys of having a variety of jackets is you honestly can put them over anything and still look totally together. With animal prints as well as bold colors in the forefront this season, you can find a nice trench or even a nice yoga jacket in styles that will stand out. Wear them over any casual type of stylish jeans or lounge pants, a t-shirt or cami (please don’t forget a bra—no matter how tired you are!) SASSY’S PICKS: Zebra Print Fleece Jacket, $29.99, Metrostyle.com; INC Belted Python Print Trench Coat, $74.25, Macys.com

dollhouse jeans2. Embrace and love the throw-back 70’s style distressed jeans. Hello?…McFly? They look ragged already! So it doesn’t matter if you are just throwing them on right out of the hamper or out of the laundry basket. However they look, people think that’s the way they are supposed to look! Ink stains, extra holes, spilled bleach. It’s all good.  Spaghetti stains, grass stains, splotches of pureed baby peaches, That’s not good. Leave those in the hamper. Stick to the bootcut and flared-legged styles as well. Last thing you want to do in the morning is have to lay on the bed and wiggle into a pair of skinny jeans. Those will definitely work in your favor at the crack of dawn. SASSY’S PICKS: Dollhouse Destroyed Stretch Bootcut Jeans, $34.90, Alloy.com; Grane Destructed Turbo Bootcut Jeans, $24.98, Macys.com

ecko sneakers3. Pick up a cute pair of go-with-anything sneakers and a pair of flat shoes. No one needs to be thinking heels at sunrise. If your feet are like mine, they are always achy in the morning. Find a pair of sneakers that aren’t necessarily an athletic kind. There are great styles made by designers like Marc Ecko, Sketchers and Roxy that look great but are still solid and casual. Same goes for flats. Avoid getting a pair of pointed-toe patent leather slip-ons for the morning shuttle service. Find a nice pair of soft-leather, suede or fabric ones that match anything and everything and can be worn with jeans, yoga pants or even shorts if the weather is hot. SASSY’S PICKS: Ecko Red “Phundamental”, $66, Zappos.com; “Yammy” Buckle Moccasins, $19.99, Dollhouse.com

fringe bag4. Find a fashionable “mom tote” that matches everything. This season’s styles work in everyone’s favor because solid black, brown or metallics are all in! You don’t have to change purses every morning, but you want to be able to keep your tote stocked for the morning kiddie commute in case someone forgets something (and they will!) Stock your tote with things like extra pens, extra pencils, head- and tummy-ache remedies, mini packs of tissues, a wad of singles (for back up snack/lunch money), some nibbles like packages of peanut butter crackers and granola bars, and a small pad of paper for emergency gym notes or nurses excuses. That’s just for the kids. For you, make sure you have: your credit/debit card (a second card is best—then you can leave it in there), your Dunkin Donuts Perks card, your Starbucks card, gum or breath mints, a neutral lipstick, a lip balm, a mini hand cream and a concealer pen to hide any dark circles under the eyes that may appear between the driveway and the school carport. SASSY’S PICKS: marc “On The Fringe Bag”, $32, Avon.com; any flashy tote bag by Betsy Johnson, from $25, local TJ Maxx stores

lipliciousgloss5. Keep a simple, fast, neutral makeup look in the bathroom next to the toothbrush. As soon as you are done brushing the pearly whites, give your face a fast wash with a simple one-step cleanser and then apply a moisturizer with an SPF. Lightly dust on a little translucent powder to even your skin tone. Lightly pinch the skin on right under your cheekbones and hold for the count of 5 to make them naturally pink. If you can’t live without your eyeliner, throw on a quick sharp line (don’t smudge—it makes your eyes look tired too early in the morning) and throw on a coat of extra-thickening black mascara to make them pop. Find a nice one-coat liquid lip gloss or lip color and sweep it over your lips. Finish off your look with a lightly scented body mist that is awakening and lifts your spirits! SASSY’S PICKS: AVEENO Ultra-Calming Foaming Cleanser, $8, CVS stores; Make Up For Ever HD Microfinish Powder, $30, Sephora.com; Styli-Style Line & Seal 24 Hour Eyeliner, $6, CVS stores; Liplicious Lip Gloss, $7, Bath and Body Works retail stores and bathandbodyworks.com
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After you’ve dropped everyone off at the academic institution of choice, the time is now your own! Hit your local java drive through or better yet, go inside with your favorite magazine or even your laptop. At least you’ll know your favorite blog will have some hot, interesting things to talk about. That’s because I’ll be at my local java place writing them. If you look across the cafe and see a redhead with a stylin’ bag, reapplying her lip gloss after drinking a mochachino, you never know…it just might be me!!!

Sweets From My Sweet……

12 Feb

linev2a

With Valentine’s Day only being days away, I couldn’t help but reflect on the beautiful gifts I have received from my true love, Mr. Sassy, over the past 13 years. For the most part, he’s been very traditional. I’ve received heart necklaces, diamond earrings, teddy bears, roses, tulips, and pretty stinky things from the bath store. And of course, he has given me my favorite gift in the whole wide Valentine world….chocolate. But my favorite gift from my husband came a little while back, which has now become a tradition that I love. It may no longer be a surprise but is something I look forward to each and every year.

About four years ago, my husband went to the craziness known as the local mall to get me a Valentine’s Day gift. Probably, like most men, he went the day before. I had mentioned to him that year I really did not want any big fancy gifts. We were going out to dinner, and the time with him was more than a treasure. Before we went out to dinner, though, he told me he had a little something for me. I had no clue what he might have, but he came out with a pretty gift bag. I fussed, saying I had told him not to get me anything, but he insisted he had to give me a little “treat”. When I opened it up, I was completely surprised. Inside, was two pounds of hand selected Godiva chocolates. I had never enjoyed Godiva’s before. But lord knows, as a woman? I knew all about those delectable tastes of paradise.

It didn’t take long to discover why this blissful chocolate pleasure is loved by so many. Just to look at them was an experience. The smooth, shiny, blemish-free chocolates were striking in color and design. After my first bite, I was truly in heaven. The crèmes, caramels, nuts, truffles and ganaches drenched in the richest milk, white and dark chocolates made me want to cancel my dinner reservations and just stay home and overdose on cocoa. The warmth of my mouth made each piece just melt into a wave of soothing silkiness. Price does not always make things better, but in regards to chocolate? I think it does make a world of difference. This was without a doubt the best chocolate I had ever had.

But, you see, the true joy of this gift did not end with the sugar high. As much as I loved the tasty treats that my husband took the time to select just for me, it was what he chose to put them in that meant even more. My Godiva’s were in a beautiful velvet and satin heart-shaped pillow box, adorned with sparkles and sequins. The box itself could have been the gift with nothing inside, it was so gorgeous. When the chocolates were gone, I decided to use the plush heart to store little keepsakes that I had collected throughout the year. Inside I put corks from celebratory bottles of wine, cards, pictures, receipts, napkins, etc. Not only were my precious memories kept together, but they were kept inside a memory itself.

Ever since that Valentine’s Day, my husband has made it a tradition to get me a box of chocolates thatheart are bundled inside an exquisitely designed box. The chocolates may differ each year, but the sweetness of the love behind them remains the same. In my room, I have each heart of years passed and often look inside to reminisce about the fun times we had. I treasure each one and look forward to surrounding myself with an increasing number of beautiful hearts that will overflow with remembrances of all of the special times I’ve had with Mr. Sassy.

…I just hope the chocolates don’t increase the number in my jeans size and make them overflow as well!

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My Foolproof Outfit….

5 Feb

When I wake up each morning, I check my humongous magnet calendar on my fridge to see what my day will consist of. Because of my laid back appointments and informal business endeavors, my daily style can be classified as “feminine casual” at best. I no longer have to don the pleated black pinstripe skirted suit, thank the heavens. Bye bye, I’ll be seein’ ya… glad to say I’ll no long be wearin’ya. I will say, though, that even when I am just home for the day working on odds and ends around the house, I always look presentable. I’m not saying I diva-tize myself from head to toe, but I do put on my face and look decent not just for the UPS man delivering my package of the day, moreso for myself.

So what does Sassy Auburn consider her foolproof outfit? An ensemble that is comfortable enough to allow me to comfortably move about, look approachable and easygoing and still enable me to look and feel current, sexy and feminine. And with the fashions available nowadays—at all price ranges—this is very easy to do.

Tomorrow I have what I would consider a “typical” day: I have dry cleaning to pick up and drop off, a visit to the market, a medical appointment in my big city, visit a former client, and depending on my son’s band practice schedule possibly a chauffeur roll to finish up the day. With the weather calm and seasonably cool, this is a perfect day for my foolproof outfit:

Jeans

Z. Co. Stretch Skinny Jeans (indigo blue) – Saying it is hard to find a pair of jeans that fit me perfect is an understatement. If I get them to fit in the hips, then they are too big in the waist. If they fit in the waist, they are either too tight in the hips or too short in the crotch. I found these jeans in Macy’s about a month ago and fell in love with the fit immediately. I loved them so much, I bought three pairs: one in indigo, one in faded blue and one in black. I will say the indigo jeans fit more true to size with the others being a bit big, but they aren’t baggy big. Plus, it gives me a bit of “cheesecake space”, if you know what I mean. The dark color enables you to be totally casual with them or really dressy chic if you like. (Macy’s, $35)

Top

Stargazer Knit Tunic – Nothing goes better with skinny jeans than a nicely fitted tunic, and there tunicdefinitely is a tunic for all seasons. During the cold months, sweaters with poet sleeves or belted waists make the cozy very jazzy. As the warmer weather soon approaches, the Spring will bring with it bright, flower colors and lightweight fabrics. This tunic is a bit of both worlds. The long sleeves, scoop neck and empire waist still gives this top flare during the cool months but the light stretchy fabric allows for comfort as well as style as the temps rise. The go-with-anything pattern and colors makes this a style-statement must have!  (BostonProper.com, $79)

Shoes

Bandolino Smiley Shoe Booties – When it comes to choosing shoes to accompany skinny jeans, you are pretty much safe with everything EXCEPT sneakers. (Don’t do it, don’t do it, just don’t do it). Pumps of all sorts (peep toed or closed), boots, sandals, ballerina flats or shoe booties can really give your outfit personality. My Smiley’s are smooth black leather oxford with a soft insole, a rounded toe and a medium height (2 ½“) stacked heel. Walking in these is easy and comfortable, even on slightly slippery walkways. Plus they lace up which allows you put on heavier socks when it’s really cold out. And these aren’t just for jeans anymore. They look sharp as heck with wool skirts and tights too! (Zappos.com, $62)

Purse

Guess? Gold Coast Satchel – I have to be honest, this isn’t the exact bag that I carry when I’m out handbag1gallivanting during my day, but it is pretty darn close. I love my black Guess handbag. The single, drop-down handle is the perfect length for me. It is long enough where I can toss it over my shoulder when my hands are full, but small enough to carry by hand so as not to break my arms. The size is big enough to keep just the necessities without turning it into a suitcase. Plus there are just the right number of compartments inside to hold my makeup, cell phone, etc. keep The big “G” on the front shows people that you know style, the price tag shows you know how to shop! (Boscovs, $56)

Jewelry

Daisy Fuentes Silver-Tone Hammered Necklace – I love love love this necklace. If I’m not sure what necklace to grab with my outfit for the day, this is my go-to bauble. The large hammered circles look casual yet stylish with any type of open-neck top or dress. This necklace doesn’t just draw attention, but is also expensive looking! (Kohl’s, $18 )

Fragrance

Marc Jacobs Daisy – This is the newest “make me feel pretty” fragrance in my collection. It’s soft, daisyfeminine and playful with a slight vintage edge. Notes of strawberry, violet leaves, grapefruit, gardenia and vanilla all intertwine to make you feel elegant but not too serious. And the bottle? How can you not love the whimsical design! What is great about Daisy is it doesn’t just come in the typical large spray bottle. It is also available in a purse-size spray with refill, a solid fragrance ring, a sparkle roll on, a rich body cream and a silky, shimmery body lotion. A little something for everyone. (available at most major department stores, beginning at $30)

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John Fairchild once said, “‘Style’ is an expression of individualism mixed with charisma.” Orson Welles also wrote, “Create your own visual style…let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.” You don’t have to be wearing any specific designer or drop a house payment to feel great about yourself. Look on line or grab a few fashion magazines and see what looks are hot right now. Then pretend you are five-years old some day and just play dress up… either at home, the mall or a thrift store. Mix, match, try, play, discover. Find out what gives you the WOW factor, then turn that discovery into something that is uniquely your own. That’s the kind of style that will make you feel like a million bucks every single day!!

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Then and Now: Fashions For “Old Farts”

10 Jan

Ever since I was a teen, there have been a few things that have been a staple in my wardrobe, closet and makeup drawer. They are probably things that you cannot live without either. But as I move up in age, I notice fundamentals of these items evolving. For example, every woman needs a purse. As a young woman, my purse needed to be able to hold my money, a lip gloss and a license. That was it. When I got married and had children, my purse then had to be able to hold those items plus a travel-sized pack of baby wipes, hand sanitizer and a Ziploc bag of Cheerios. You see where I am going with this.

Even now that my kids are teens and my daily routine is totally different, I am finding that my must-have items are becoming less and less basic. At least the designers are aware of this because no matter what I need, someone seems to make it. Let’s break down my simple fashion necessities and what requirements they must have to fit my more “mature” life now:

  • PURSE

Then: Small shoulder bags in jazzy colors with one compartment were fine. Sometimes it wasn’t even necessary to carry one at all. Carrying a purse meant you could only carry one drink at the bar during 2-for-1 nights.

Now: Shoulder bags are frowned upon due to arthritis bothering the shoulders. Black or brown is fine. It must be able to hold a wallet, checkbook, ATM card, cell phone, pill box, lip balm, bottle of water and the janitor ring of keys. Extra room should be available in case there is a need to carry a small pack of tissues, datebook, two granola bars and a hair clip. Designer name not required but it helps to justify the purchase.

  • SHOES

Then: High, high, high. The more hooker-looking, the better. Brown didn’t exist, red and black patent leather were a necessity. Comfort was not even considered. Kinney’s was your go-to shoe heaven.

Now: Leather shoes work best because they stretch out and allow room for bunions. Square-toed and rounded-toed shoes work best. Pointed-toed shoes make your eyes water just looking at them. Peep toes are the new sexy. Black and brown are a must, grey or silver is now considered daring. Any shoe over 2” must have a comfort, no slip sole and a built-in cushioned arch support. Designer name not required but helps to justify the purchase.

  • JEANSjeans

Then: If your jeans weren’t tight, you returned them. Stretch jeans were best because they enhanced your figure. You lay down on the bed to put them on and you were fine with that. If you wanted them to feel snugger, you wore stockings underneath them. Acid-washed was your favorite color but anything tight would do.

Now: If your jeans are tight, you return them. Jeans must be purchased at the store because they have to be tried on—no two pairs of the same size fit the same. Stretch jeans are best because they stretch for your figure! If you have to lie down on the bed to put them on, you can expect to be there all day. Usually the classic name jeans fit best but if a designer pair fits better, then that will help to justify the purchase.

  • JEWELRY

Then: The gaudier the better. You watched Madonna and Janet Jackson videos for ideas. Your earrings were so heavy that you were told your piercing holes were about to rip through. Getting you ears double pierced was a luxury that made you the envy of your friends. Your bracelets were made of rubber. Your necklaces looked like Mardi Gras beads. If your jewelry turned body parts green, it was no big deal (that’s what clear nail polish was for.) If you didn’t get your jewelry at a “Buy One Get Two Free” sale at your local teen store, you paid too much.

Now: The shinier the better. Golds, silvers and platinums are the jewelry box trend. Styles are simpler and reflect the person wearing the pieces. Studs, hoops and chandelier earrings are most common. Necklaces are all lengths with varied pendants. Bracelets are usually flashy. If you only have your ears double pierced, you are considered white bread. Minimum of three holes in one ear (with diamond studs) is more the norm. A pierced belly button is now a common accessory at PTA meetings and soccer games. Any watch with two hands will work, but ones with diamonds have been said to keep better time so that helps to justify the purchase.

  • MAKEUP & SKINCARE80sgloss

Then: There was no such thing as the “natural look.” Foundation had to be slightly on the orange side and end right before the neck began. Lipsticks came in pink, hot pink and fuschia. Lip gloss rolled on and came in strawberry or cherry flavors. Mascara was in a pink tube made by Maybelline. Eyeliner was a foot-long pencil, was always black and always cheap. Skin care consisted of Sea Breeze pads and Noxzema in the blue jar. Moisturizer was only something you used on your hands in winter. If you went to bed with your makeup on, you knew it could save you time in the morning. Perfume was Love’s Baby Soft or Charlie.

Now: You have two looks—au natural and glam gorgeous. The natural look is earth tones from mineral powders. Chapstick with a shimmer is enough for the lips. Eyeliner is soft and smudged and mascara is minimal. The glam look is more out there. There is glitter on everything from the eyes and lips down into the cleavage. Eyeliner is blackest of blacks and mascara is thick and bold. Focus on skin care is a must. We will try anything…and everything… to avoid crow’s feet, laugh lines, wrinkles, flakes and sun damage. Paying $40 for a good moisturizer is not unusual. We look for words like Retin-A, peptides, SPF, omegas and vitamins. Our bathroom counter looks more like a spice cabinet. We go to retail stores that sell nothing but makeup and skin care, and won’t think twice about dropping a car-payment size amount of money to stay looking young. Washing your face at night takes 10+ minutes. There are perfumes everywhere that suit a person’s personal taste, but if it comes with a body lotion and shower gel sampler, a free tote bag and a pair of sunglasses, it certainly will help to justify the purchase.

  • HAIR

Then: No matter how big your hair was, it wasn’t big enough. Two cans of Aqua Net and a can of mousse per week was normal usage. Finesse shampoos and conditioners were the designer brand for routine care. Home perms were what you had done if you and your mom were bored on the weekend. If you mother refused to give you a home perm, you bought a hair crimper. You were happy with your natural hair color. That is, until June, when your locks drank Sun-In as much as you drank Iced Tea. When you realized that the Sun-In had turned your hair into dried grass, you tried to make it look stylish with either Farrah Fawcett side curl flips or a jazzy banana clip.

Now: Your monthly hair maintenance is as routine as your mortgage payment. And about as expensive. You’ve lost track of what your natural color really is because you can’t tell where the highlights begin, the lowlights end with the blending of the roots in between. Your stylist knows all about you and refers to you by name & hair color shade. (“Oh, hello Tina Redken OC8 Cayanne/Saffron!”) You can’t stand the thought of even a wave in your hair and you don’t hesitate to pay an exorbitant amount of money on a ceramic hair straightener and blow dryer to prevent any type of curl. You have bottles, tubes, cans, sprays, foams, gels, waxes and pomades in every nook and cranny of your bathroom and shower. Because your hair looks so slammin’, you save money by not buying hair clips, and that in turn helps to justify the purchases.

  • TATTOOStat

Then: You hoped the box of Cracker Jack you bought contained a tattoo that because that would have made you sooooooo cool with your friends.

Now: You are wondering where on your body you are going to put your third tattoo because your friends think you are a Cracker Jack for having less than them. You finally tell your husband you are going to get a tramp-stamp of the design on your wedding invitation tattooed on your back because it will make you feel that much closer to him. That surely will justify the purchase with him… Right?

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A New Year of Resolutions….

2 Jan

champagneAbout 15 years ago, I was no different than most other people on New Year’s day. I made a resolution to change something in my life. What was the resolution I made, you ask? It was a resolution to not to make any more resolutions. Ever. Each year I would set out with one or two intentions in mind. Since I was 15 years old, one of those was ALWAYS to quit biting my nails. You can see how well I did with that since I made it every year for 25 years straight. The other ones usually varied between things like change my hair style, make a better choice in boyfriends, walk daily, a more consistent laundry routine, learning new recipes, keep in closer contact with my friends, etc. Things like that. Like always, I would start the year out good then somewhere around March I forgot what my resolutions even were. That’s when I made the decision to just stop making any altogether.

Then, something happened. The year I stopped making my ritual resolution of trying to stop biting my nails, I went cold turkey one summer and stopped on my own. It’s been almost 10 years now and they are long and strong. Sometimes I look at them, all filed and painted and can’t believe they are mine. Some people have PhD’s on their wall. I have ten gorgeous nails on my hands that I probably feel just as proud of. Other than me burping the alphabet at a college drinking party, it truly is one of my greatest accomplishments.

But the question still remains: Did I stop biting my nails because I was just ready and the time was right? Or did I succeed in doing it because the pressure of the resolution was off my mind? Hmmm.

Earlier today, Mr. Sassy asked me what my New Year resolutions were. I informed him that I don’t make them any more. When he asked why, I explained. Plus at this stage of my life, the majority of resolutions that are set by people at the beginning of the year don’t really apply to me. I don’t need to lose weight, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t need to get out of debt and I don’t need to drink less coffee. But my explanation wasn’t good enough for Mr. Sassy. He told me to make at least one resolution for 2009. Oh great, now I have to put real thought into this. What do I really want to change in my life this year? “Under promise–over achieve,” they say. I’m rolling my eyes as I type that. So this year, with my stunning hooker-red manicured success tapping away at my keyboard, this is my list of New Year’s Resolutions for 2009:


  • Try to wake up early each day. .Of course, before10:30am counts as early to me. It’s a start.
  • Read more. . It doesn’t have to be a huge novel by Stephen King or Tom Brokaw. Even a Nancy Drew from my daughter’s bookshelf or a magazine with good stories works. My husband always tells me Playboy has great stories too.
  • Let a professional take care of my hair. . This includes regular coloring, cutting, and waxing. Even though I think I’m really good at it, I have to realize someone else could do better. A lot better. Especially the waxing part.
  • Spend less money on skin care and glamour products for myself.. Just because it has a fancy name or bottle, costs a mint, and smells like the tropics doesn’t mean it’s better than all the rest. I will be open to comparing drug store brands to the higher end and be honest when less (money) is more (productive!)
  • Eat a serving of berries or dark-skinned fruit every day. . They are healthy, taste good and they keep the germies away.
  • Drink more water, . I’m way better than I used to be, but I’m still off. If I treat myself like I treat my plants, I’m going to be dried out and wilted very soon. Oh, so I guess my next resolution should be….
  • Get a pretty new plant and don’t kill it,.
  • Gain 4-7 lbs. . Listen, don’t hate. I need a little more meat on my bones, okay?
  • Spend 30 minutes every afternoon cleaning up my house. . Cleaning up my home is like having a root canal–long, painful and headache inflicting. If I do a little each day, it won’t be so bad. I was told to set a kitchen timer for 30 minutes. That way it won’t seem overwhelming.
  • Learn something new. . I’m leaving this one really wide open so at least I have a shot at making this one happen. It could be anything from learning a new makeup style to designing a new outfit to learning a song on the guitar. Doesn’t matter. Just as long as it is fun and doesn’t get me arrested.
  • Hug my kids whenever possible. . That one will be easy!


Have a great 2009 everyone! I’ll keep you posted on my resolutions… keep me posted on yours!

Glamour In A Winter Wonderland…

22 Dec

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With the holidays upon us, we are surrounded by pretty lights, shimmering tinsel, evergreens, poinsettias, ornaments and all of the other various sights of the season. So what are some glamour goodies to make you stylin’ this time of year? Here are a few under-the-mistletoe must-haves:

GOLD

Marc Jacobs Daisy Shimmer Rollerball – This cult-favorite scent has all the holiday glitz to go with it. With hints of strawberry, gardenia and red grapefruit, this feminine scent rolls on with a soft gold shimmer. Both the glitter and scent are long lasting. And the roll-on bottle is quite large, so you’ll have enough for this holiday season and then some. $25

Plump My Pucker Lip Gloss in Root Beer My Float – This little item sounds more like a summer treat, but the color screams party. This lip plumping lip gloss is not super-tingly like many are, but has just enough to keep your pucker pouty. The gloss smells like it came right from a frosty glass, and the color is a long-lasting sheer gold. It’s perfect by itself or over your favorite lip color for more pizazz. $14

SILVER

Urban Decay 24/4 Glide-On Eye Pencil in Gunmetal – Nothing says holiday glam like a little sparkle for the eyes. And Heaven knows Urban Decay is a leader in that department. This long-lasting eye pencil is dark enough for daily wear, even to the office, but has a nice bit of glitter without going overboard. Wear this shade alone for a dark smoky look or over a nice pastel eye shadow for extra pop. $16

Miss Dior Chérie Gift Set – What could be better than Dior’s newest women’s fragrance in a perfect sized bottle, along with a mini shower gel and mini body lotion? All of them all together in a stunning silver Dior clutch bag that will make you stand out like a fashion diva! The pure notes of green tangerine, violet, pink jasmine and patchouli will make you smell stunning. The Dior clutch will make you look it too! $73

GREEN

Philosophy Spicy Pear Cobbler Lip Shine – This is one of those gifts you’ll buy for a friend and then end up keeping for yourself. This crisp-tasting lip gloss is packaged perfectly in a little ornament box to hang right on the tree. Out of the box, it’s a sheer treat that fits nicely in your purse or pocket. Yum! $12

DKNY Be Delicious Body Lotion – Even though it’s winter, make your friends “green” with envy as you treat your body to this fresh indulgence. With an apple-scented base, this scent from DKNY is one of the most popular fragrances on the market today. With a sophisticated blend of exotic flowers and sensual woods mixed in, this softening lotion will keep you smooth refreshed all Winter long. $38

RED

Sephora by OPI Nail Colour in Personal Shopper – The description of this shade is “rich vixen red”. Really now, can anything scream holidays more than that? This bright holly red nail color has all the shine, shimmer and sassiness (I should know!) that anyone would want on their hands this time of year. Bright and bold, you’re hands are sure to get noticed! $9

Philosophy 3-in1 in Red Velvet Cake – Is your mouth watering yet? It should be. Philosophy has nailed this one as far as getting the delicious dessert into your shower. Although it is usually used as a shower gel, it can also be used as a bubble bath or a shampoo. The only thing that’s missing is the cream cheese frosting. $16

JUST PLAIN FESTIVE

Urban Decay Heavy Metal Glitter Liner in Distortion – Turn that basic office or soccer mom makeup into a, “Who spiked the eggnog?” party look with a line or two or three of this jazzy glamour item. The applicator is a super thin brush which swipes a streak of opalescent glitter anywhere and everywhere. Use it just as a liner along the top lashline or smudge it all over your lid for a more dramatic effect. Definitely fun to play with! $18

Make Up For Ever Diamond Powder – This item certainly multi-tasks! Although it looks like an eye shadow, its uses don’t stop there. Use the lighter colors over the top of your favorite cheek color for some shimmer. Or, even better, dot the powder over your lipstick or lip gloss to set it with a lot WOW! If you do use it as an eye shadow, most people say that it works best OVER a cream eye shadow to keep the glitter fall-out to a minimum. I find that applying it by mixing it with Make Up For Ever’s Eye Seal keeps it in place and makes it snowproof as well. $24

(All of the above items are available at Sephora retail stores or at http://www.Sephora.com)

To all of my friends here who visit my blog, as well as my friends and family members who pop in from time to time, here’s wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas, a glorious holiday season, and a happy, healthy New Year!

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Frantic Friday Shopping…

7 Dec

groceryWhy Going To The Discount Super Center This Friday Was A Death Sentence:

1. Everyone over the age of 70 driving through the parking lot had no desire to yield the right of way to people already in motion. I heard at least five horns honk as Aunt Ethel sat in oncoming traffic for four minutes with her signal light on for a spot closest to the entrance. I was directly behind Aunt Ethel.

2. My mother calling me as I went into the store and me answering it. When she realized I was at the store, my shopping list of ten things quickly turned into twenty. The plan for an in-and-out visit had turned into an hour-long treasure hunt for earplugs, hemorrhoid cream, Woollite and orange Circus Peanuts.

3. Everyone over the age of 70 coming out of an aisle into “oncoming traffic” had no desire to yield the right of way to me when I was already in motion. My cart was run into at least five times between the Ensure and the Bran Flakes.

4. I watched helplessly as a frazzled mother threatened to give away her two daughters after the youngest decided to paint her sister’s face with a bottle of Wet ‘n Wild nail polish in the shade “Runaway Red”. How ironic.

5. A group of teenage girls created a Hiroshima-sized cloud in the perfume department trying to find the perfect scent for tonight’s school dance. When I was leaving, they had narrowed their choice down to Hillary Duff’s “With Love” or Britney Spears’ “Curious” glimmer spritz. What ever happened to Love’s Baby Soft? The atomic cloud gave me a headache from hell.

6. “Clean Up In Aisle 7” was heard just as much as “Cash or Credit?” I believe it was a three-year old boy named Danny who was mostly responsible. This was determined after I continuously heard the father exclaim, “Danny…STOP! Oooh noooo.” That cry was immediately followed by breaking glass then the loud speaker saying, “Ed, wet spill, aisle 7.”

7. The odd-looking middle-aged man who seemed to be in every aisle I was in, including feminine hygiene and curtains. He was smiling sheepishly at me whenever I leaned over my cart. He creeped me out. I felt the urge to offer him some fave beans and a nice Chianti (slurp slurp).

8. The store was out of bacon & horseradish dip, but had double the amount of Ruffles chips. I hate that.

9. For the second straight week, there was no frozen Stouffer’s macaroni and cheese. This will infuriate my daughter. She will want to picket the store beginning Monday.

10. Eight words: out of alignment shopping cart with shaking wheels!

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